HomeMailOnline MembersSearchBrowseChatFriendsForum
 

Literotica- Mother Wants Me to Fuck Her

Interests:

Having Sex With Your Aunt
When I was 8 I started dressing up in my Mother clothes. When I was 11 I started sucking cocks and getting butt fucked. When I was 12 my Mother caught sucking a boy cock as another boy was butt-fucking me. My Mother had a fit. I was since to live with my Aunt who was a lesbian, from the very beginng she let me dress in her underwear and to watch her with her girlfriends. From day one she had me lick her pussy. Years later after I moved out on my own Every day I would go to my aunt house dress-up and cunt-lap my aunt. I lick my aunt pussy every day She past away when she was in her 80's I lick her sweet pussy the day before she died
Menstruation
Mother Nature. It's all good.
Dragqueen
I started wearing my Mother bra's and panties when I was 10. 51 years later I still love to dress as a woman.
Mother Son Role Play
I just simply love any kind of Family Role play. Expressly Mother Son
Cuckold
We have but, my (Rob) family doesn;t think that it is healthy ... I love my wife but after being married seveal years it may be time to help her find a new cuck ... I can not afford not to ...... any way llets jut say that I believe that my wife (Val) will soon be looking for a new playmate .... I just hope that he knows that if he doesn't treat her well .... just because we will no longer be WITH each other does not mean that I will allow any to hurt my childs mother ... or my WIFE .. This may be MY last post.

Good-bye all

Rob
Men That Want To Be Fucked In The Ass
FUCK ME and FUCK ME ---> Sweet FUCKING Yes, FUCK Me Again and Again 1 on 1 or in a Group of VERY Hot and Horny and Bisexual"s ...(^_^(?... any Time ? ? ? Just Say
White Guys Getting Fucked By Black Guys
I would to get fuck,suck a black gay. I'm a bottom that love to get fuck. I think about get fuck and sucking a black all of the time. I'm in mid Missouri so if you would to fuck my bottom and get the off your cock when you email me. I'm for real. I have a big bottom and deep throat.
Age Play
I saw a hot video, supposedly mother & daughter. Daughter started sucking mom's tit, while mom asked her if she liked being mommy's little girl again. The girl responds, "Yes I like being mommy's little girl." It was so, so hot.
Fucking Wife While Husband Fucks Me
If you are in the DFW area and want to fuck a tight ass while I fuck your wife's pussy, let me know; I am available, willing, and wanting.
Face Fucking
I love to be face fuck. But would. Like to have some one to face fuck and some one fuck me in the ass. In mid Missouri.
Full Day Sex Session
I don't know about fucking 24 hours straight, but, fuck a while, lounge around nude a while, maybe tease a little, fuck a little more... Mainly a situation where the primary purpose was pleasure with the other person or people, and no need whatsoever to get dressed at any point during the proceedings...
All Male Anal
i do love 2 Suck on very Big 's --- So if you got a Big & Hard and want Fuck me --- i am in philly so do say hi some time and let Fuck soon o.k.? to all to say hi to me, but bye 4 now / DenizenFlow er
Three Cocks One Ass
AAHHH - Yes, I LOVE To Fuck 1 on 1 or with a Group of Very FUCKING Horny MALES AND FEMALES and The More That Want to get Off On and ALL Ove My Face and Body is The Better I Will LOVE TO Suck and FUCK ? Interested and you like my Photo's ? Say Hello Back ok to any and all of You's - But Bye 4 Now - Oh Denizen....(^_^(?...
Men Bottoming For Women
I love to be a bottom by a woman having her fuck me deep in ass with a strap on it feels so good. One time my wife was fucking me with strap on and I cum like the little bitch that I am. She had hands tid up so I could not do anything like play with my self. And she just fuck for 2 or 3hr. I love it
Cum In Me
FUCK YES, I WANT ALL OF YOU'S TO CUM AND GET ALL VERY WET AND CUMMY ON TO AND WITH ME ONE ON ONE OR FUCK YES, IN A GROUP OF VERY HORNY PEOPLE'S - INTERESTED SAY HELLO BACK ANY TIME OK ? BYE SWEET CUMMY PEOPLE'S ...(^_^(?...
Gang Bangs
Say Hello My very Sweet and Naked Horny Friend's ? or ? I Do LOVE To Suck and Fuck With Both of the x's 1 on 1, on - on or With a Group of - 's or 's and Or With Both ? So If You's LOVE To Get To Suck and To Get To Be Me and I Do LOVE To Fuck ...(^_^(?... and Hey ? The Bigger The Toy You Got - The More I LOVE To Fuck - So If you are Interested and Want To Be Me Again and Again as You Need To Be Getting Off ? Just Write to Me and Ask If I Will Be Interested In Meeting With You Off Line OK - All are Very Welcome to Say Hello -
Bang My Wife
we have had a group of 3 guys cum over and they all fucked my girlfriend. I love to watch and be made a cuckold bitch. But I want to participlate not just watch..she makes me blow them and get them ready to fuck her. Then while they're pounding her she'll tell me to lick their balls, or some other dirty act...We too want to get together a gangbang of about 6 guys to fuck both of us. If you're hot and hung and in NJ drop us a line.

Profiles:

Visiting Nashville Sunday October 20 - evening of Wednesday the 23rd. Would be nice to have a coffee or drink with a bsp friend! Drop me a note? Easy going guy looking to enjoy life with friends. Erotically inclined and open minded about finding mutual pleasure. the classic literotica stories getting lucky in all sorts of interesting ways! Care to lend a hand or three?
I am a good person, who is energetic, outgoing and likes to have fun. I want a person who is the same way. I am looking to hook up with men, women and male/female couples. I am completely bisexual and love to do everything with a man and a woman. I like to suck cock/get sucked. I like to fuck/get fucked. I would love to get fucked with a strap on dick. I would love to have a full day fuck session. I love to eat pussy and when I fuck men I do it strictly bareback.
I am blonde 26 mother of 2 I am kinda chunky nt fat my bf is the same
I am a easy going bisexual,married,mother of 4 looking for female friends and lovers
Professional mother first. the man that tells me what we will do next....I never knew what the pleasures could bring from a tongue on my body, much less my clit...it's all an adventure to me!!
Im 6ft, 200, brown hair, hazel eyes, 6 inch hard cock! to completely satisfy a woman (love to eat pussy). Looking for fuck buddie(s) MMF/MFF, cyber/phone sex! Not looking for relationship, just discrete sex. Im considered attractive by women. Because I want to be discrete, I can only send pic upon request.... MEN: If you really like sucking and fucking hard cock and need to suck and fuck hard cock, fell freee to contact me! I love to be serviced by others
I'm a 50(act and told I look younger)y.o. black, bi but not out (appreciate and give discretion) man who is very passionate and horny. I love making out (told I'm a great kisser), giving and receiving massages and oral, JO, body contact, nipple play, porn and showering (soapy, not golden). I'm a very horny guy with about 7.5 cut, thick with a big mushroom head with a banana curve to the left that I'm sure you will like; I'm told it feels good. I'm a horny top who loves to fuck long, deep and slow. My favorite thing is to have a bottom cum while I'm pounding his ass, hopefully in the missionary position so that we both end up coated with cum and sweat on our stomachs and chests. I never bareback!!! I split time between Boston, MA and Houston, TX and would love to find friends/fuck buddies in both places.
Very horny, very open, will not back off from new experiences.dying to fuck a man.
Sensual and uninhibited married couple who love to fuck. We are extremely comfortable in our relationship but want to keep it hot. What better way to includeYOU! We are open minded and do not judge! Must be discreet and of course...sexy!
bi-curious male, bisexual female. just lookin for some fun. my GF got me into wearin bra & panties when we fuck. now its the only way i can JO ) if we hit it off then we could get the wife to help us out MMMM .... its me (o)(o) lol & i luv men in panties mmmm would luv to see my man in his panties suckin a big cock )
38yo bisexual male. Well I'm open to a lot and interested in a lot. I would love to experience more of my submissive side, find an attractive and well hung man to make me his cum slut to fuck me, just make sure he's happy and taken care off. Another is a few woman with strap-ons. I also like black men and woman and would love to even try a gang bang. I would really enjoy being with a bi couple and enjoy sucking a cock off together with a woman, eating her out while she's getting fucked, and DP her. And of course good fun kinky sexy with a woman, from eating her out to fucking her in the ass and everything in between. Not really into Piss, Scat, extreme pain or torture, and of course NO KIDS!
The male half is very worldly. Although very masculine and generally a top, he often wishes he were born female with same sex appeal and open mind. He thinks being a sexy bitch would be a great experience. The female half is a late bloomer that started in a light "vanilla" relationship with a white top male after a failed longterm traditional relationship within her race. We met a few months ago, and hit it off because of our similarities and likes of the same interracial play and voyeurism. She likes to strapon fuck, get DP'ed and wants to watch men fucked each other. She's fascinated with m2m anal play. She's very verbal and sexy.
I a married man. and I just love sites like this. I enjoy the naughty and nasty chats with others who enjoy this as well. I find it quit the turn on showing off my " naughty, nasty and dirty " side for others. I have always liked getting naked for the camera. I also love taking slutty pics of my wife. and sending them, and sharing them with others. another thing I find a huge turn on. is geting pics sent back to me of my wife from someone who has photoshoped them. I also love to play with other cocks as well. I hope we can find the time to have some fun together.............. " YOUR SYBERSEX FUCK TOY SLUT " WYOCOCK . . . . . . . . .
I am a lifelong bisexual male who is equally comfortable with either gender or both depending on the circumstance and what others are seeking, I like to feel I am a sensitive caring male who does not abuse or misuse others, but is into mutual pleasure and filling some fantasies if I may be sooo blessed to be a part of...willing to look at new things and even try if not tooooo far out in left field...but mostly am just a very sexual and sensual guy, fairly well endowed who loves sex with others...a year ago had prostate cancer surgery, leaving me semenless....which can be a good thing...*S* also impotent, HOWEVER, doctor introduced me to a shot which gives erections lasting up to 3 hours, so even after my orgasm, I still am doing an imitation of the "bunny" and keep on going and going and going.....And to those who scoff at age...it's only a number, remember young men fuck and old men make love. ISI And with all this comes "bragging rights" to the question, "How old was the oldest person you have had sex with ?"
Clean low key professional guy with a nicely cut piece of meat . Very open to passionately exploring erotic interactions with discreet like-minded and energetic playmates who are healthy, hygienically clean, safe and sane. Mine is a hungry healthy sex drive which is geared to reciprocating, pleasuring and engaging my partners and their fantasies. Enjoys oral play with both female and male sexual partners, including edging and nipple teasing and stimulation. I am unselfish and attentive to the erotic moves and flows of my playmates. Very willing to interject mood appropriate verbal (unoffensive) dirty fuck talk when nearing climax for heightened intensity. I love both giving and receiving those body weakening and uncontrollable nut busting orgasms with both female and male sexual partners. In short, open to doing it all.
Update 11/10/2012 - We are highly interested these days in finding a guy (or2) (or maybe a MF couple) who is READY for BI fun. If you are "curious" or unsure of your preferences or looking to learn, we aren't a fit. Our opportunities to play are limited. When we DO get to play, we want to spend that time with someone who is comfortable with both of us. We really enjoy MMF s. We are both completely happily married for more than 20 yrs AND completely happily Bi sexual.She is 5'4", 150 lbs, firm 38 DD tits, shaved pussy. s it all - loves to have her tits fucked, she's multi orgasmic and can be brought to the point of squirting, wants DP action. s to watch him suck the guys and be sucked by the guys. s the ladies - licking their pussies, playing with toys, watching him fuck them. He is 5'8" 160 muscular, fit, 6" solid, nipples pierced, shaved completely smooth from the neck to the toes. s to suck cock and pussy, loves ass play - top and bottom, loves getting and giving male head, especially when she watches and helps! He and she are quite exhibitionistic and uninhibited.
I have always been curious sexually and really enjoy both voyeurism and exhibitionism. I am probably more bi-sexual at this point than just bi-curious. I have had a few experiences and have enjoyed them all. I guess I can share a few with you. I talked my wife into going to a swinger's club just to watch 6 or 7 years ago. We both really enjoyed the atmospher and the voyeurism. She was afraid that people would approach her or would pressure us to have sex with them; but that didn't happen and the people were actually very friendly, nice and sociable. Since then we have been to dozens of clubs together (most of these clubs only allow couples). I would love to swing and swap partners with another couple; but my wife is not ready to see me with another women. About 5 years ago, we went to a club in New York city. They have a policy that if you want to go back into the play rooms, you have to take your clothes off. My wife decided to humor me; so we got naked and joined the action. She was seated on a couch and I was in front of her eating her out while a large black guy was doing the same to his girlfriend who was sitting right next to my wife. I watch as he slowly slid up and placed his huge cock at the entrance to his girlfriend's pussy. I couldn't take my eyes off of his cock, but as I glanced down at my wife, I saw that she was watching the same thing that I was. After a few minutes, the guys politely asked if he could feel my wife's 34G breasts. I turned to her and whispered in to her ear, "he asked me if he could feel your breasts?". She surprised me by saying, "Really? He actually asked you if he could feel my tits?". I said, "Yes". So she said "OK". I turned back to the guy and gestured for him to help himself. As he reached over to caress her boobs, I slowly inserted my cock into my wife's pussy. I couldn't believe how wet she was. After a minute, the guy removed his hand, so I leaned forward to say thank you to my wife. But she surprised me again and said "I bet you would like to see him fuck me with that huge cock, wouldn't you?" I just nodded and then said "why? would you do it?" She said "yes." As quick as I could, before she changed her mind, I turned to the black guy and asked him if we would like to fuck my wife. In the blink of an eye, he reached for another condom, opened the package with one hand, pulled out of his girlfriend and unrolled the condom onto his gigantic cock. I quickly moved up next to my wife so I had a good view and then the guy slowly started to inch his thick dick into my wife's dripping cunt. A thousand emotions flashed through my mind in that moment; but I was out of my mind turned on. Anyway, he very fucked her very sensuously for a few minutes until my wife came. He wasn't finished but politely pulled out and went back to fucking his girlfriend. Nothing has come close to the excitement of that moment. I have been hooked on watching my wife fuck and suck other men ever sense. We attended a few gang-bang parties where lots of pre-screened men show up to allow women to fuck as many guys as they want. I really got off watching my wife pick out the guys and blow or fuck them. Next we found a straight guy on the internet that my wife was willing to meet for a MFM threesome. He was a nice guy and we met him 5 or six times. During one of those meetings, I slid up behind my wife while she was riding his cock and inserted my dick into her ass. She went absolutely crazy. She is usually very quite during sex, but this time she was yelling and screaming "God YES!! Fuck Me!". She came like crazy over and over. We did that again once and it was just as good the second time; but then that guy got a girlfriend and didn't want to play anymore. We have met up with about half-dozen other men. One of them had a beautiful dick about 8 inches long but a reasonable width. He saw me fascinated by his dick and asked me if I wanted to touch it. I shyly said yes. Then I took ahold of it and slowly started to stroke it up and down. I wanted so bad to take into my mouth but was afraid i would freak him out; so instead I offered it back to my wife. After that, I couldn't stop thinking about sucking a cock. I finally found an adult bookstore where I read that all types attended. Gay guys are the most common, but bi-guys and women looking for gang-bangs also show up from time-to-time. I visited there several times and had witnessed some interesting things; but on this one particular evening, there was only me and one other guy in the place. He was sitting on the other side of the room looking strangely at each other. He suddenly got up and walk over to me. He was standing in front of me and he said "Hi, my name is Joe". I said "Hi." He then asked me if I ever sucked a cock before and I said "No." He then said "Would you like to?" I said, "Yes. I think I would." He then pulled his shorts down and off. He wasn't wearing any underwear so his flaccid penis was directly in front of my face. It looked really small, and I was actually a bit surprised. But I leaned forward and placed my lips around his entire shaved cock and balls. It felt really strange: spongy and soft yet rubbery at the same time. He immediately started to get hard; and within a few seconds, it had grown to a couple of inches. So I started moving my mouth up and down on his cock while he stood in front of me. I was enjoying the fact that I could take his entire cock in my mouth; but that didn't last long. His dick kept on growing and was soon too big to fit comfortably in my mouth without gagging; so I moved my hand up and started stroking his shaft while moving my lips and tongue on the head. I felt a strange sense of power at that point that was out of character for me. I reached up, grabbed his hips and turned up toward the couch and made him sit down. I then moved between his legs and continued to give him a blow job. I was afraid he might come in my mouth; so I started jacking his cock with both hands paying extra attention to his frenulum while teasing his head. He started moaning like crazy and saying "Oh my god, I'm going to come!" I stroked his shaft more trying not to touch the head hoping that it would stretch it out; but he soon shot a rope of come up over my head. I really couldn't believe it. It happened so fast and afterwards, I was disappointed that I didn't let him come in my mouth. I really wanted to know what it would have felt like to have that powerful shot of come hitting the back of my throat. At that point, the owner of the shop popped his head in the door and shouted out that it was closing time. We picked up our things and left. I went straight out to my car and masturbated to one the most powerful orgasms of my life. Again, I was hooked. I went back to that same bookstore a couple of months later. This time, I told my wife that I wanted to jerk-off another guy and she said "Ok. You can play with other guys; just no playing with other women." I hadn't told her about my first experience. I'm sure she would have been fine with it; but for some reason just felt like something I should keep to myself. I had a few more bookstore experiences; but the fear of STS's keeps me from going back there. I got the curiosity out of my system; so now I only want more traditional experiences. My wife and I were approached by a guy who listed himself as bi and seemed nice and cute. My wife, knowing that I wanted to suck a cock but not knowing that I already had, asked me if I wanted to try a threesome with him. I jumped at it and we did hook up with the guy. My wife and I started out by sharing his cock with each of us taking turns sucking and licking his head or shaft. We moved to the bed and my wife continued to blow him while he sucked my dick. My god, did he know how to suck cock! Anyway, he came in my wife's mouth and she swallowed it all. He got up to go to the bath room and my wife turned to me and said "Oh my god, he tasted so good. You would have loved it!" I was really disappointed then. From that point on, I couldn't get the idea of swallowing a load of cum out of my mind. We found another bi-guy that joined us for a play date and I finally got taste my first load of cum only he didn't cum much so I barely knew it happened. I have never tried anal sex with a man (giving or getting); but I do fantasize about it. I guess that would have to be under the right conditions. At this point, I am really up for trying just about anything once. The only thing I am not into is male-on-male intimacy like hugging and kissing and I am not really into getting my nipples pinched or sucked. I would, however, really like to find a bi-guy for some occasional fun when the urge strikes (him or me). I would love to find someone that I trust enough to play with from time to time - no strings attached - that won't turn into a drama and wonit disrupt my otherwise normal life. While my wife accepts my needs when it comes to other men; I still prefer to keep it discrete and private.

Forums:

in my opion {and it means nothing} sounds like u have a deep down sexual desire for your mother-in-law even though you say shes not attractive iam not buying it there are other ways of preventing her from sticking her nose where it doesnt belong i dont think exposing yourself to your mother -in-law makes amy sence unless u really want her to see u nakked my ex mother -in - law was exactly the same way i just told her off one day and she stoped but do what u want its your marriage you would be jepordizing make the right choice
To all the Ladies....
Happy Mother's Day!!! Because Mother or not, just being you makes a difference in someone's life.
Happy Mother's Day to all the Mother's and Single Father's on this site.....Take the day for yourself and pamper yourself to the fullest.....
es and a bouquet of s to all
Sassykath

Flowe r
I hope all the mother`s on BP had a wonderful Mother`s Day, god bless you all and if it for all the mother`s non of us would be here enjoy each other
God bless
s & es -------Flowe r

Mike :D
My friend Susan and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the magic of the Internet.

Our first move was to access the popular Ask Jeeves website, and we told her it could answer any question she had. Susan’s mother was very skeptical until Susan said, "It's true, Mom. Think of something to ask it."

As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Susan’s mother thought a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"

YOU Got to Luv'm

Be Happy
D i c k
One night, the Potato family sat down to dinner - Mother Potato and her three daughters. Midway through the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato?" she said. "I have an announcement to make." "And what might that be?" asked Mother, seeing the obvious excitement in her eldest daughter's eyes.

"Well," replied the daughter, with a proud but sheepish grin, "I'm getting married!"

The other daughters squealed with surprise as Mother Potato exclaimed, "Married! That's wonderful! And who are you marrying, Eldest daughter?"

"I'm marrying a Russet!" "A Russet!" replied Mother Potato with pride. "Oh, a Russet is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"

As the family shared in the eldest daughter's joy, the middle daughter spoke up. "Mother? I, too, have an announcement." "And what might that be?" encouraged Mother Potato.

Not knowing quite how to begin, the middle daughter paused, then said with conviction, "I, too, am getting married!" "You, too!" Mother Potato said with joy. "That's wonderful! Twice the good news in one evening! And who are you marrying, Middle Daughter?"

"I'm marrying an Idaho!" beamed the middle daughter. "An Idaho!" said Mother Potato with joy. "Oh, an Idaho is a fine tater, a fine tater indeed!"

Once again, the room came alive with laughter and excited plan for the future, when the youngest Potato daughter interrupted. "Mother? Mother Potato? Um, I, too, have an announcement to make."

"Yes?" said Mother Potato with great anticipation. "Well," began the youngest Potato daughter with the same sheepish grin as her eldest sister before her, "I hope this doesn't come as a shock to you, but I am getting married, as well!" "Really?" said Mother Potato with sincere excitement. "All of my lovely daughters married! What wonderful news! And who, pray tell, are you marrying, youngest Daughter?"

"I'm marrying Dan Rather!" "DAN RATHER?" Mother Potato scowled suddenly. "But he's just a common tater!"


Be Happy
D i c k
I like what gemniguy, lovetheclassics said. but when to timr it is next. I have to be honest with myself and diffently my mother. I have progressive MS, and mother goes with me to the doctors. I sevred 20yrs. active duty in the closet, it is time to settle it out. now the question is when to tell them. thanks for the imput. hope to see you soon.
hello baby yes yes i want to fuck the both of u really good.I hope the both of u are hornyer than a mother fucker.just like me i havent had sex in over 6 years.but back in march went to detroit to be with a 25 year old he fuck the shit out of me 3 days.so about 2 months now i joined 2 swingers clubs.I like forward to getting with u and u.Im pretty sure we can have a fucking good time. What i been told the last couple weeks i got a squirting tight wet wet pussy.yes im 53 but do not like it.shit baby last 2 weeks i been fucking the guys in there 20s .the youngest one was 23.Shit i got a very high sex drive.so ass up face down...smile..heres my pic attached ..kandy doll
Fuck Me Fuck Me Fuck Me and Sweet Yes FUCK ME ...(^_^(?... and The More Rock Hard COCK"S That I Can Get 2 CUM and Yes To FUCK ME ? The Very More I Get To Taste ---> Mmmm U"s Getting All CUM -MY ? I Want all of that and more ---> Interested ? ? ? Do Say Hello Back Any Time and Let"s Get VERY Wet Soon --> But Bye 4 Now ---> Dennis ...
A mother, father and young son are visiting the circus. The elephants walk out into the circus ring and the little boy says to his mother, "What's that?"

"That's the elephant's tail," she replies.

"No, under the tail," says the youngster. The mother is clearly embarrassed and says, "Oh, nothing."

The boy turns to his father and repeats the same question. His father looks and says, "That's the elephant's penis, son."

"So, why did mum say it was nothing?" asks the boy.

The father draws himself up to his full height and says, "Son, I've spoiled that woman."
one of our family members has lost a family member. this is going to be real hard for Rose, her mother in law passed away today. she had to tell her hubby of this tragedy. because he was on his way home from seeing his mother. she can use are support and our prayers. so please keep her family in mind during this time of sorrow.

thank you all so very much
tammy and larrry
One , Two , Red , Blue ..or what ever color we can find, and then there is the whole story about a Pink ......argggggggg !!!!
I think that we could get a group rate for therapy, now what is That Shrink's #?
This is our story......
Last night we had this dream. We were alone with our mother in a subway compartment, and the door opened, and their stood...Sigmund Freud! And he was HUGE. Our mother turned to us and said, "He's right: it is time for a spanking" and suddenly the subway car started to rock back and forth, and when it stopped Dr. Freud and mother were gone, and the cat was on top of the refrigerator, and we cried because we wanted for breakfast, not toast and jam! Our Spanish-speaking maid apologized and flew away, and the cat turned into a bottle vodka. Then we woke up and smoked a pickle.
DnK
One weekend, a man decided to call his mother in Florida because it had been quite some time since they had chatted. The man asked his mother, "How are you doing?"

She said, "Not to good. I' have been very weak."

The son then asked, "Mom, why are you so weak?"

She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."

The son then asked, "How come you haven't eaten in 38 days?"

His mother replied, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food when you called."

Be Happy
D i c k
Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Maria," says the mother," all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you." So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!" "Stay here and stir the pasta," says the mother. "This is a job for Mama."
One day a little girl is outside playing then a little boy from up the street came down with a football.

The little girl asked the little boy if she can have the football

The little boy replies this is a boys toy you can't have it because it's a boys toy

The little girl runs crying to her mother wanting a football so her mother gets her a football

The next day the little boy comes down the street and sees the little girl with a football

See i can have what ever boys have says the little girl

The next day the little boy comes back with a dirt bike and says to the little girl this is a boys toy you can't have one cause it's a boys toy

The little runs crying to her mother wanting a dirt bike so her mother gets her one

The next day the little boy sees the little girl on a dirt bike and the little girl says see i can have what ever boys have

Then the little boy pulls down his pants and says you see this only boys can have these you can't have everything boys have

Once again the little girl runs crying to her mother

The next day the little boy comes down the street and sees the little girl and says see i told you you can't have everything boys have

Then the little girl stands up and pulls up her dress and says my mommy says as long as i have this i can have as many of those as i want
I would love to meet up with you both and let you do whatever you want with me. I am up for anything, eat her, suck you, fuck her, fuck you, her fuck me, you fuck me. Message me and let me know when.
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his mother, "How was I born?"

"Well honey..." said the slightly prudish mother, "the stork brought you to us."

"Oh," said the boy, "and how did you and daddy get born?"

"Oh, the stork brought us too."

"Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" the boy persisted.

"Well darling, the stork brought them too!" said the mother, by now starting to squirm a little.

Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write due to the fact that there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."

Be Happy
D i c k

Testimonials

hissexybitch
You guys are doing an awesome job with this site.  What a great concept!  Hope to chat sometime!

Related Searches



Did you know?
Search
Did you know that our Search Page is ideal for people who travel? For instance, if you were traveling to New York, you could search for all members within [a distance you enter] miles of New York. Just lookup the zip code for New York using our convenient Lookup buttons, and enter the distance you’d be willing to travel from NY. You can do the same for anywhere there are members.
Click Here For Assistance
Disclaimer: Individuals appearing on this site have contractually represented to us that they are 18 years of age or older.