Son & Father Plays with Penis in Shower
|blowbbud||closeted MWM, 5'9", 165 pounds, average build with 6 inches, cut. Work out regularly, but not a gym rat. Enjoy oral encounters, give and receive, mutual massage, give and receive. When with a new partner, it is always fun and hot to strip naked, shower together so we can explore each other's bodies before settling in for some sex play. If a M/F couple is involved in play, the couple always calls the shots about how and what involvement, if any, I will have with the female partner. I am discreet, respect all boundaries in any type of play, and expect the same from others.|
|july_22nd||We are very open minded, and are open to about anything. We like to ride motorcycles, four-wheelers, he plays guitar. We like to go fishing when we can. We like getting out and riding and we like to stay home as well. we like watching movies at home and going to the movies. I have had a few experiences and he has not. I would love to find someone that i can have fun with. Someone that is down to earth and outgoing as well. Someone that enjoys getting out doing things and staying home. I'm a hopeless romantic, he is not. so i would like to find someone that enjoys those things too. getting or giving flowers for no reason. Just being surprised and also doing the surprising. i like to cuddle, i like playing with toys and we both like watching porn.|
|laflip||Single, Fun, intelligent, college educated, adventurous, open minded, Non judgmental, creative, spontaneous, good listener, great cook, self employed. Into the out doors: hiking/camping, biking, skiing, scuba diving, as well as movies, plays, music, art, good food and wines. I'm looking for someone who is creative, bright, a bit irreverent, and independent, with no children at home. I’m tired of games. I want someone who is going to be honest from the start and not afraid to laugh and have a fun in life. I’ll respond to all who include photos. Have fun. Please don't write to ask if I'm interested in seeing your photo. The answer is yes. Fair is fair! I will not respond if you don't attach a photo or box# with a photo/ad. P.S please be within a 50 mile radius of Los Angeles|
|Curious1srching||A mother, father and young son are visiting the circus. The elephants walk out into the circus ring and the little boy says to his mother, "What's that?" |
"That's the elephant's tail," she replies.
"No, under the tail," says the youngster. The mother is clearly embarrassed and says, "Oh, nothing."
The boy turns to his father and repeats the same question. His father looks and says, "That's the elephant's penis, son."
"So, why did mum say it was nothing?" asks the boy.
The father draws himself up to his full height and says, "Son, I've spoiled that woman."
|Bi_Brittany||The young man sat with his father and explained to him " Dad you dont understand Im worried about my wedding night. I have never been with a woman before. What do I do?"
His father replied "Dont worry son, just make sure your honeymoon suite has an adjoining room, then if you have any problems I will whisper through the door."
After the couple got into the room, the groom explained he was going to take a shower and freshen up. The bride realized she had to take a hellatious shit. She didnt want to go in the bathroom because that stink up the bathroom and would be embarrasing. So she finds a shoebox and takes a shit in it and puts the lid on it. Then she sets it on the floor and figures she will throw it away the next morning. After the groom comes out of the shower all he sees is his new wife laying on the bed naked. Excitedly he rushes into the bedroom and wouldnt you know it he steps right in the box of shit and yells " Oh my God theres shit in the box!!!" His father opens the door and yells "Turn her over son, turn her over!"
If I had a penis I'd wear it outside
In cafes and car lots with pomp and with pride
If I had a penis I'd pamper it proper
I'd stay in the tub and use me as a stopper
If I had a penis I'd take it to parties
Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties
I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay
I'd stuff it in turkeys on thanksgiving day
I'd rival my buddies in sportscars and stick-shifts
I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts
I'd peek around corners
I'd aim at my toilet
I'd poke it at foreigners
And soap it and oil it
If I had a penis I'd run to my mother
Comb out the hair and compare it to brother
I'd lance her, I'd knight her, my hands would indulge
Pants would seem tighter and buckle and bulge
A penis to plunder, a penis to push
Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush
A penis to love me, a penis to share...
To pick up and play with when nobody's there
I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle the chair
I'd play with my fly, albeit with care
I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets
Go to the movies with hands deep in pockets
I'd stick it in vacuums on vacant verandas
Gas-guzzling bottles and poodles and pandas
And puddles and drain pipes and doggies and ditches,
Pool halls and potholes and bottles and bitches...
If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain
I'd force it on females
I'd pee like a fountain...
If I had a penis I'd still be a girl,
But I'd make much more money and conquer the world.
|oo7dot||Good Lawyer vs. Bad Lawyer|
What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer? A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.
~ ~ ~ ~
The lawyer's son wanted to follow in his father's footsteps, so he went to law school. He graduated with honors, and then went home to join his father's firm. At the end of his first day at work he rushed into his father's office, and said, "Father, father, in one day I broke the accident case that you've been working on for ten years!" His father responded: "You idiot, we could live on the funding of that case for another ten years!"
D i c k
They say that the new super computer knows everything. A skeptical man came and asked the computer, "Where is my father?"
The computer bleeped for a short while, and then came back with "Your father is fishing in Colorado."
The skeptical man said triumphantly, "You see? I knew this was nonsense. My father has been dead for twenty years."
"No", replied the super computer immediately. "Your mother's husband has been dead for twenty years. Your father just landed a three pound trout."
D i c k
|Bi_Brittany||While cleaning little Billy's room, his mother found several S&M magazines under his mattress. In shock, she called for his father to see what she had found. She said " Look at all these dirty magazines." As his father flipped through the S&M magazines, the mother was pacing with her head in her hands. She said "What should we do about this?" The father raising his eyes from the S&M magazines replied " For God's sakes, Dont Spank Him!"|
|gooseg||Just logged on & heard about your mis-hap. Noticed U were missing from chat for a bit. Hope all is going well for U. I know it's not funny at the time it happens & all the pain associated. If it makes U feel any better, I once too slipped in the shower, grabbed the shower curtain on the way down, landed on the bathroom floor with a resounding thud. Wife walks in and I'm wearing the shower curtain in the horizontal position. She says, "You OK?".|
HERE'S YOUR SIGN!!!!!
ya! Take care of yourself!
|carol_danny||AJAXXX missed the point. No one is saying don't put up penis pictures, they are saying please show us more than just that. I will let you men in on a little secret, the penis is really not that important! I want to see the whole package, as do most women I really hate it when I get a message from a guy, and he attaches 20 pictures of his penis! One is not enough? You're chances of meeting women or couples will greatly improve if you show us more than just your penis. For me, it's a real turn off as that tells me the man in question is only thinking of one thing. |
I understand fully about not wanting to show your face, not everyone is comfortable doing that. You can still show full body pictures with your face blurred out, and make a note in your profile about how you will exchange proper pictures on request.
|carol_danny||Sorry Robert, but we must disagree with your entire post. Your analogy about your grandfather just doesn't work in this day. We do look at much more then just the pussy and the dick, we look at the package surrounding everything. Sure, 50 years ago, your Grandfather may have said "All Women look the same when you stand em on their heads." But that was a really sexist attitude that doesn't hold true today. Most of us are looking for more that just the genitals, as we realize the genitals are such a small part of real sex. The person is the most important part of sex. Everything else is secondary.|
Yes, to the man, how we treat the penis is quite important, and most women understand that. But to the woman, it really is not the "end all and be all" of sex. It's just part of it.
I will say that I have been with many men, both big and small. My sexual satisfaction has never had anything to do with penis size. That is some sort of myth that men seem to propagate. I really don't care about the size of a man's penis, and most of the women I know in the Lifestyle don't either. It;s the attitude of the man that gets me off, the way he makes love to me, not the size of his dick. size is really the least of my concerns. I truly feel sorry for any woman that thinks otherwise, as they are missing out on some real fun.
Yes Robert, we women understand that your penis is important to you. It's just not all that important to us! You guys need to understand that. We prefer the package the penis is wrapped in that the penis itself
|carol_danny||Actually, there is a surgical procedure that will make your penis an inch longer on average. It has to do with cutting the ligament that supports your penis. It's become a fairly common cosmetic surgery for men.|
|iammistafied||This fellow comes to confession. "Father," he said, "forgive me for I have sinned."|
The priest asked, "What did you do, my son?"
"I lusted," the fellow replied.
"Tell me about it,"
The fellow then related his story. "Father, I am a deliveryman for UPS. Yesterday I was making
a delivery in the affluent section of the city. When I rang the bell, the door opened and there
stood the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She had long blonde hair and eyes like emeralds.
She was dressed in a sheer dressing gown that showed her perfect figure. And, she asked if I would
like to come in."
"And, what did you do, my son?" asked the priest.
"Father, I did not go in the house but I lusted. Oh, how I lusted," replied the man.
"Your sin has been forgiven," replied the priest. "You will get your reward in heaven, my son."
"A reward, father? What do you think my reward might be?" the fellow asked.
The priest replied, "I think a bale of hay would be appropriate, you jackass."
|nyflyer||Wow - it was exciting reading this. I have have engaged in piss play several times in the sea, a few times in the shower and once for real out of the shower with a girl squatting over my chest and face. I loved it. Have not found anyone interested since. I would love to rim while getting a GS.|
|daddygecko||Being uncut here are some of the things I do. I am very concious of my hygiene and do my best to not offend. I skin back my foreskin while in the shower when I first get in the shower and really soap that hooter up good. Then I go about the shower as usual. Before I get out I repeat the first step. Then, no laughs please or lame jokes about "blow jobs" , I take my blow dryer and on the low setting I skin it back again, and dry all exposed areas. You cant really just dry it with a towel. The foreskin automatically covers your cockhead when you wash and if you leave the inside of the foreskin wet this can speed up the process of becoming yucky. See if this helps.|
|one_4_all||I like smoggytomcat's multi person orgy... one of my personal fantasies is... heading home from the gym with a friend to cool down at his house... a shower to get clean, but before I can towel off he joins in on the shower... washing each other off... then heading off for some sex ... of course this is all based on the idea that I did not no I was interested, at least not until he shows me....|
|Curious1srching||OK I found the answer. heres prolly more than you wanted to know...hehe|
Erect Length Measuring:
Erect length is what anyone is interested in. And it is best to measure from the side of the penis. This method is the standardized and used by researchers to measure the "average penis size" which is incidentally between 6" - 6.5" erect length. First of all make sure you have a 100% erection where you would consider your penis the "most erect". While holding your penis below the head and place the ruler next to it with your other hand. The ruler must be slightly pressing against your pubic bone. Measure to the nearest millimeter and be sure that you do not EXAGGERATE the measurement. It is recommended that you under exaggerate, because exaggeration on the measurement could result a lack of motivation in the future.
Flaccid Length Measuring:
Flaccid length of the penis is dictated by many factors, including the ambient temperature. This might mean that you have contradicting results depending on the temperature of the situation that you are in currently. In order to keep results accurate we provide a standardized way for measuring the flaccid penis. Flaccid gains are the first gains coming with penis enlargement program. You should stand up straight and extend your flaccid penis in front of you (it is really important NOT to stretch it), your penis should now be parallel with the floor. Now, place the ruler next to your penis so it is slightly pressing against the pubic bone. The ruler and your penis should be parallel with each other (as shown in the video).
Flaccid Girth Measuring:
The girth is extremely awkward to measure cause many people have different measurements of girth size, depending on which part of the penis they actually measure. The standardized way is to measure in the centre of the penis shaft. While flaccid, hold your penis out in front of you and then, wrap a tape measure around. You do not have to pull the tape measure too hard, pull it to a reasonable level and try to remember this LEVEL of pulling for the next time. Average flaccid length of girth is about 3"-4". On our photographs the model has really large flaccid length and girth and it is most likely that yours will be smaller.
Erect Girth Measuring:
Firstly, make sure your penis is 100% erect and then go on measuring. Now, hold your penis out in front of you so it is parallel with the floor. With your other hand place the tape measure around the penis making sure not to pull too much tight. The average erect girth is 5" - 5.5" according to the most recent surveys.
|Bi_QB19||I hope those who read this wont think of me as a total loser. I just hope to in some way get some advice or help so I can move on with my life.|
My problem started after I left Job Corps and was playing Football for awhile and my father calls me and says that he needs me back home badly because the family is in a horrible financial situation. I at the time was barely making it on my own agreed to come home for a short period of time. What I didn't realise was that my father didn't cancel the social security payments I was getting when I was a kid ( and honestly I never understood why I was getting that in the first place ) and needed me home to keep them. To make a long story short.....I'm traped here now not only because I have no money to move out but I'm traped by the fact that if I leave it will leave my sister of whom my father often uses against me in guilt anytime I get pissed at him and treaten to leave. Most say why don't you just get a job and leave....well its not that simple and I would have done it awhile ago but one of my major problems is that my father knows he has me in between a rock and a hard place. I have no way to leave and no where to go and no one to really rely on for help do to us moving abit since I was suckered into coming back home. I am 28 now and fearing I will be an old man if I dont find some way out. My father is not the most mentally stable person in the world and me seeking help of anykind he seems to be against so thats why I'm here. I hope in some way I can find some advice or at the very least a caring ear willing to listen to the "entire story" consitering this is just a nutshell version of it if you can believe that.
|nutothis972||I have a question for ladies who like both anal and vaginal intercourse. How would you compare one to the other? How are they alike and how are they different? I love the feel of either a strapon or a penis sliding in and out of my ass! I am wondering if this wonderful feeling is like what a woman feels with a penis sliding in and out of her vagina. Thank you for any replies.|
I'm in Utah and would love to find an older guy to have some fun father/daughter role playing with.
I had a nice experience once with a married M-F couple. They started by having sex in their bedroom, closed doors.
I was vacuuming their house, dressed only in my panties and thigh-high stockings, like a sexy French maid.
I opened their bedroom door and was cleaning around their bed pretending to not notice what they were up to. Then the wife motions me to come over and kiss her and play with her nips.
Then she makes her husband pull out and motions me to lick his cock clean of her pussy juice, and then tells him to fuck her in the ass. When he does that, he cums within one minute, and their is cum oozing out of her hole, and she makes me lick that clean. Then she makes me lick his cock again, and it has this wonderful musky scent, and by now, I am getting horny for him and want him to fuck me in my butt.
But that makes her angry and she spanks my as cheek red as a punishment, and makes me sit in the shower while he pisses on my face. I open my mouth and actually like the taste of his piss, so I ask the wife if I can lie on the floor of the shower while she squats over my head and squirts into my face. Very nice and warm.
Then we all end up by taking a shower and soaping each other up.
That was one of the best episodes I ever had.
My erect nipples are very sensitive, and have attracted women and men. At first I was offended. But I've found it wildly erotic to have them licked and tweaked. If a man plays with my pecs and licks my tits, it makes me so horny I just want to suck his cock and have my ass fucked. That's really how I became bisexual.
|seniornudistbi_guy||Men On A Leash|
I definately have a fantasy of being a sex slave for a couple who would keep me on a penis leash and use me for themselves and their friends pleasure!
My hard nipples are the real reason I'm now bisexual. Women like to lick and suck them, and I found I really like that. I got edited by a lesbian couple once and after some intense three way nipple play, I ended up being ped by the dyke. It really felt good to have my tits sucked while being fucked. After that, my nipples would get very erect in the shower. Some guys noticed that and seduced me in the locker room shower. It was my first gay sex, and so found I really enjoyed having my tits licked and sucked, and it really made me want to suck cock and have a hard dick up my ass! Now, whenever anyone feels up my pecs or brushed my nips with their tongue or fingertips, I just melt. It makes me wildly horny and I just want to suck and fuck and be fucked in my naughty ass!
Looking for someone in N LA County to give me a golden shower -- top to bottom. I promise to clean you up when you're done.
I've never been involved in a golden shower, but I'd love to both give and receive from both a man and a woman.
Oh now this is something I like..sharing a shower with someone and lathering up my breasts and washing them with them alllll over...very very sexy and sensuous!
|OrallyFixated36||Women Who Like Oral Sex|
As a circumcised guy, you've got to understand that it gets a bit numb down there. A good blowjob increases the sensation in the penis so that vaginal sex will be a lot more enjoyable for the guy. I won't usually fuck a girl unless she gives a GOOD BJ beforehand.
|KaneYaDigit||Cum On Tits|
My hard nipples are the real reason I'm now bisexual. Women love to lick and suck them, and I found I really like that. I got seduced by a lesbian couple once and after some intense three way nipple play, I ended up being ped by the dyke. It really felt good to have my tits sucked while being fucked. After that, my nipples would get very erect in the shower. Some guys noticed that and seduced me in the locker room shower. It was my first gay sex, and so found I really enjoyed having my tits licked and sucked, and it really made me want to suck cock and have a hard dick up my ass! Now, whenever anyone feels up my pecs or brushed my nips with their tongue or fingertips, I just melt. It makes me wildly horny and I just want to suck and fuck and be fucked in my naughty ass! I really like to be sucking a hard cock and then just as he's cumming, rub it on my nipples and feel his hot cum on my tits. I like to get my chest all slippery and rub it against a man or woman's chest and feel our tits slipping against each other. Mmmmm!
Practice makes perfect. If by chance You are interrupted by the urgent need for a little nookie, or hot passionate love or maybe a little 'snack' (if Ya know what I mean) just pick up where you left off or better yet, go take a shower together & start all over...........
I'm a bi, mwm who loves giving and receiving golden showers...I'll be in FL in 2 weeks, so if you're in the area, please let me know. I'd also like to hear from
all you golden shower lovers in MI.
Fingering is a beautiful feeling. Weather it's fingering yourself, being fingered or fingering someone else. I used to do it in the shower when I was in the navy.
We have enjoyed anal sex for close to 20 years. Danny has always had a fetish for anal, and slowly introduced Carol to it. We practise anal sex on a very regular basis, and have introduced many men (and some women) to their first anal sex experience.
A little twist on anal sex that all couples should try.....take a good vibrator and put it in the guys ass, turn it up ALL the way! The guy lies on his back, and lets the woman get on top. The vibration travels right through the guy, into his penis, it's amazing! ...for both partners.
Danny & Carol
|KaneYaDigit||All Men Orgies|
The closest Ive cum to an orgy was being seduced by two guys in a locker room shower. I guess they had noticed that I like to let the water hit my tits, and my nipples get very erect. I thought I was alone, and my eyes were closed. Then I became aware of someone licking my nipples. It felt so good, and then I felt a hard cock behind me, pressing up against my naughty ass. I dropped to my knees and was sucking one hard cock while the other was working in and out of my wet slippery ass. Then I lay on my back and let them take turns fucking me missionary style with my legs in the air or wrapped around them like a teenager while the other one rubbed his cock only tits and shoved it in my eager mouth. Then I fucked one guy in the ass while the other one was fucking me. We all came together and just collapsed in a pile. Mmmm, I really enjoyed that sooo much! I'd love to be fucking and sucking in a bigger group, surrounded by hard cocks to suck and fuck!
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