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A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry: '9.'


Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'

Harry: 'Coconut.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.....'
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry, what is your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!" The teacher had enough. She took Harry to the principals office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. The teacher agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade." The teacher says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.
teacher: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Harry: "Legs"
teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" (The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!)
Harry: "Pockets"
teacher: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"
teacher: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" (The principals eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: "Coconut"
teacher: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Harry: &quot;Bubblegum&quot;< br /> teacher: &quot;What do men do standing up, woman do sitting down and dogs do on three legs?&quot; (The principals eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...)
Harry: &quot;Shake hands&quot;
teacher: &quot;Now I will ask some &quot;Who am I&quot; sort of questions, okay?&quot;
Harry: &quot;Yup&quot;
teacher: &quot;You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up.I get wet before you do.&quot;
Harry: &quot;Tent&quot;
teacher: &quot;A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.The best man always has me first.&quot; (Principal was looking restless and bit tense)
Harry: &quot;Wedding Ring&quot;
teacher: &quot;I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.&quot;
Harry: &quot;Nose&quot;
teacher: &quot;I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.&quot;
Harry: &quot;Arrow&quot;
teacher: &quot;What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of excitement?&quot;
Harry: &quot;Firetruck&quot;< br /> The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, &quot;Put his ass in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself.&quot;
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Books
I am a big fan of Stephen King and his horror novels. My most favorite is The Stand, followed closely by IT. I am also a big fan of R.L. Stine’s books, his Fear Street and Goosebumps were great books. I have also become addicted J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series of books and cannot wait for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince to come out on July 16, 2005. My wife Jess is the one that got me hook on Harry Potter, because she loves reading those books. In fact she has read a few of them a couple times.
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one_happy_pair
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