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Dear Santa Threesome

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GLBTPI	Dear Santa I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Frend, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a damn book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell! Santa Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love Teddy Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. She rides his ass constantly. It's time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos instead. Santa Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. Santa Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of scotch. Santa Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house. Santa Dear Santa , I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one? Timmy Timmy, That whiney begging crap may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again. Santa Dear Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams, Santa Send Mail IM
Join To View peeteerr	A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: "Anyone want to buy a present?" Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered "No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!" I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for! I think that Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. No one in the history of the world has ever purchased a fruitcake for themselves. No parent in their right mind would give a 6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!! The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus. Q: Do you know why Santa dosen't have any children ??? A: he only comes once a year and thats down a chimney ... Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite. When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas. Hug:) Hug Send Mail IM
Join To View peeteerr	A Jewish Santa Claus came down the chimney and said: "Anyone want to buy a present?" Hear about Santa and his reindeer landing on top of an outhouse? Santa looked around for a moment, then hollered "No no, Rudolph! I said the SCHMIDT house!" I hope Santa brings me that mistletoe belt I asked for! I think that Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. No one in the history of the world has ever purchased a fruitcake for themselves. No parent in their right mind would give a 6-year-old a drum set, therefore Santa exists!! The 3 stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn't believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus. Q: Do you know why Santa dosen't have any children ??? A: he only comes once a year and thats down a chimney ... Why is Santa Claus always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic. Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite. When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas. Merry Christmas . Send Mail IM
Join To View JuicyGAPeach	Well dear santa can you answer this question for me? Send Mail IM
Jack1	Dear Santa, Why did you not bring me what I asked for???:( Jack Send Mail IM
ladyred77	Dear Santa, I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year! Love, Kenny Dear Kenny, Let me make it up to you. Christmas Eve, while you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with. Santa ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------- Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy Dear Teddy, What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the baby-sitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Lego's instead. Santa ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------- Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor. Love, Susan Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my ace. You want to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and a nice Cuban cigar. Santa ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------- Dear Santa, I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please. PLEASE, Jimmy Jimmy, That whiney-begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap don't work up here. You're getting another sweater. Santa ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------- Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you making toys? Your friend, Thomas Dear Thomas, All toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most my time squeezing cocktail waitress' asses, and losing all my cash at the craps table. Hey, YOU wanted to know! Santa ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------- Dear Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yeer. YeR FReND, BiLLy Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawncare specialist. How 'bout I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell! Santa ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------- Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? Santa ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------- Dear Santa, I need more Pokemon cards please! All my friends have more Pokemon cards than me. Please see what you can do. Love, Andrew Dear Andrew, It blows my fucking mind. Kids are forcing their parents to buy hundreds of dollars worth of these stupid cards, and none of you snot-nosed brats are even learning to play the game. Let me get you something more your speed, like "Chutes and Ladders." Santa ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------- Dear Santa, I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love,Francis Dear Francis, Who the fuck names their kid "Francis" nowadays? Santa ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------- Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica Dear Jessica, You are that gullible? I dont't give a shit what the hell you're doing whenever you're doing it...I'm skipping your house. Santa ------------------------------ ------------------------------ -------------------- Dear Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home? Love, Marky Mark, First, stop calling yourself "Marky"; that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet Dreams! Santa Submitted by: Oly One Christmas Eve, a frenzied young man ran into a pet shop looking for an unusual Christmas gift for his wife. The shop owner suggested a parrot, named Chet, which could sing famous Christmas carols.. This seemed like the perfect gift. "How do I get him to sing?" The young man asked, excitedly. "Simply hold a lighted match directly under his feet," was the shop owner's reply. The shop owner then held a match under Chet's left foot and the parrot began to sing: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells! ..." The shop owner then held another match under the parrot's right foot. Then Chet's tune changed, and the air was filled with: " Silent Night. Holy Night..." The young man was so impressed that he paid the shopkeeper and ran home as quickly as he could with Chet under his arm. When the wife saw her gift she was overwhelmed. "How beautiful!" She exclaimed. "Can he talk?" "No," the young man replied, "But he can sing. Let me show you." So the young man whipped out his lighter and placed it under Chet's left foot, as the shopkeeper had shown him, and Chet crooned: "Jingle Bells! Jingle Bells!..." The man then moved the lighter to Chet's right foot, and out came: "Silent Night. Holy Night..." The wife, her face filled with curiosity, then asked, "What if we hold the lighter between his legs?" The man did not know. "Let's try it." He answered, eager to please his wife. So they held the light between Chet's legs. Chet twisted his face, cleared his throat, then the little parrot sang out loudly with the performance of his life: (Scroll down) (Are you ready for this?) "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire." Send Mail IM

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