Luckyxox
I have actually tried measuring my dick several times, but always get confused on where to place the beginning of the measuring tape. I've read to start at the base of the penis, near the scrotum, and measure to the tip of the penis glans. However, the glans penis is rounded and the tape bends adding to the length. Then I tried a wooden ruler, and since that doesn't bend it doesn't account for the natural curvature of the shaft, plus I'm afraid of getting splinters and having to tell momma. She'd be like,..'Again!'.

And it all depends on how hard and horny I am. If I get frustrated on which measuring device to use, then I lose hardness which short changes my overall length measurement. The bottom line, (pun intended) is it would probably be better if I had someone like you helping me. I think just feeling my penis in your hands would make it hard enough for an accurate measurement. And of course if you licked it all over and sucked on my penis, that could possibly add another quarter inch. The real trick would be to wait for as long as possible, in order to obtain the maximum length, then measuring it quickly before it begins to ejaculate. That would be a disaster, since then we'd have to repeat the entire process, and the viewing audience at home will be on the edge of their seats awaiting the final outcome. Perhaps hoping the out cum would be deep in their seats.

I know what you're thinking at this point; 'Why am I making a short story long?'. And that's exactly my point! I want to make it as long as possible, squeeze out every possible millimeter (if we decide to go Metric, which isn't a bad idea since the bigger the number the more 'likes' I'd get on Facebook, or rather book. Not to mention the response I would get from the Chinese if I posted it on Dik-Tok.) .

So you see, measuring my penis length is not an easy thing, in fact it's hard. The words of John F Kennedy ring true, " We do these things, not because it is easy, but because it is Hard", which he actually said here in Houston (where I am now). If I could measure my penis at Rice University, at the exact place where he uttered those words, (Rice Stadium) maybe I could get nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in medicine, or arrested. Either way it would make headlines. People all over the world would literally think, "What a dick!" and they would probably mean it.

I hoping that with your help we could pull it off, or at least have fun trying. Does anyone have any suggestions?

BiDocAndVixie
OK. You are hilarious! I got the humor and all the puns. If you were telling me this while I was attempting to draw every millimeter out of you. (Or nilliliter if you cum too soon), I'd be laughing with my mouth full. Hey how abour this? We measure with a ruler the distance from lips to the back of my throat. And then if you arent balls deep measure the distabce from my lios to the base of your shaft. At the scrotum or on top at the pubic bone? Or conversely, measure the depth of Vixie's vagina and see how much of you is still outside the zone of contentment. Most women average about 5 ibches. Yes, even 5 inch cocks can reach all the way. Which makes most cock measurements meaningless anyway. Vixie doesn't really like long cocks. If the guy isn't careful it's uncomfortable for her.
Thickness however is definitely appreciated. The thicker the better. And that is sonething that can be accurately measured with a cloth tape measure used in sewing,or a string and a ruler.
So. Any single bi guys want to come by for a measuring session.?

Mrlovetosuck
The correct way to measure a cock is along the top of erect shaft from your Pelvic Bone to the tip. Measuring underneath from scrotum to tip will make you longer than you are. Maybe thats why so many guys say they have 7” on this sight, when obviously it’s more like 5-5.5” lol

ncmojo
Ok ,ok I've been hearing all this for years , dated a nurse for a year , one night after I bit too much wine I asked her the proper way . Thought she would die laughing. Told me who cares if your partner is happy what does is matter . So don't worry .