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Lionessa | A farmer in Iowa got pulled over by a State Trooper for speeding. The trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speeding, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer feel uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket. As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, Having some problem with circle flies there, are ya? The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, Well yeah, if that's what they are. I never heard of circle flies. So the farmer says, Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse. The trooper says, Oh, and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute, he stops and says, Are you trying to call me a horse's ass? The farmer says, Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse's ass. The trooper says, Well that's a good thing, and goes back to writing the ticket. After a long pause, the farmer says, Hard to fool them flies though. Some Days Are Diamonds, Some Days Are Stone |
OutdoorGaCouple | A bus load of politicians were driving down a country road one afternoon, when all of a sudden, the bus ran off the road and crashed into a tree in an old farmer's field. Seeing what happened, the old farmer went over to investigate. He then proceeded to dig a hole and bury the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer, "Were they all dead?" The old farmer replied, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie." |
farmmgirl2 | There was this farmer,Whom got pulled over by the state police trooper for speeding.The trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed,and in general began to throw his weight around to try and make the farmer uncomfortable.While the trooper was writing the ticket ,He started to swat at flies that were buzzing around his head.The old farmer asks,Having some problems with those there circle flies are ya?The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said well ya,If thats what you call them,I've never heard of cirle flies.The old farmer replys well circle are common on farms,Ya see there called circle flies cause they're almost always found circlin around the ass end of a horse.The trooper says 'oh' and goes on writing the ticket.After a min he stops and say's ,Hey wait a min are you trying to call me a horses ass?The old farmer says oh no officer I have the much respect for law inforcement to even think of calling you a horses ass.The trooper says well thats a good thing,and goes back to writing the ticket. After a long pause the old farmer says.....'Hard to fool them flies though' ...... :):):)HugKissFARM |
farmmgirl2 | Farmer John lived on a quite rural highway,But as time went by the traffic built up at an alarming rate.The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his Chickens were being run over at a rate of 3 to 6 a day.So one day farmer John called the sherriffs office and said you have to do something about these people driving so fast there killing all my Chickens,,The sherriff replys what would you like me to do,I don't care says the farmer,just do something about these crazy drivers.So the next day the sherriff had the county workers go out and put up a sign,That said : Slow School Crossing: Three days later the farmer calls the sherriff,And says you have to do something about these crazy drivers,Your school sign not helping.So again the sherriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign. : Slow Children At Play: That still didn't work.So the farmer called and called the sherriff every day for a week.Finally the farmer asks.Can I put up my own sign?The sherriff tells him sure thing put up your own sign.The sherriff was willing to let the farmer do just about any thing in order for him to stop calling every day to complain.There were no more calls to the sherriff for 3 weeks.Curiosity got the best of the sherriff one day,So he calls the farmer to see how the problem with the crazy drivers is.The sherriff asks the farmer,Did you put up your own sign? Farmer says sure did and not one Chicken has been killed since.The sherriff was cuious now so he thought to himself I'd better go out there and take a look at that sign, thinking it could be something he could use to slow down crazy drivers in other areas.The sherriff gets out to the farmers and his jaw drops the momet he sees the sign made of a sheet of wood spray painted, "Nudist Colony" *** Go Slow And Watch Out For The Chicks*** |
| Join To View oo7dot | Cow's Advice A man's car stalled on a country road. When he got out to fix it, a cow came along and stopped beside him. "Your trouble is probably in the carburetor," said the cow. Startled, the man jumped back and ran down the road until he met a farmer. He told the farmer his story. "Was it a large red cow with a brown spot over the right eye?" asked the farmer. "Yes, yes," the man replied. "Oh! I wouldn't listen to Bessie," said the farmer. "She doesn't know a thing about cars." Be Happy D i c k |
| Join To View chillywilly | a chicken farmer goes into a bar, sits next to a woman and orders champagne. The woman says: what a coincidence, I ordered champagne too. What a coincidence this is a special day for me, I am celebrating said the farmer. What a coincidence says the woman I'm celebrating too. What a coincidence, he says they clink glasses.. what are you celebrating? My Husband and I have been trying to have a baby and today my gyno said I was pregnant. What a coincidence he says I am a chicken farmer, for years my hens have been infertile and now they are fertile. That's great she says...how did they become fertile? The farmer says I changed cocks, She says: what a coincidence... |
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