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Lionessa | A farmer in Iowa got pulled over by a State Trooper for speeding. The trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speeding, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer feel uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket. As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, Having some problem with circle flies there, are ya? The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, Well yeah, if that's what they are. I never heard of circle flies. So the farmer says, Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse. The trooper says, Oh, and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute, he stops and says, Are you trying to call me a horse's ass? The farmer says, Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse's ass. The trooper says, Well that's a good thing, and goes back to writing the ticket. After a long pause, the farmer says, Hard to fool them flies though. Some Days Are Diamonds, Some Days Are Stone |
OutdoorGaCouple | A retiring farmer in preparation for selling his land, needed to rid his farm of animals. So he went to every house in his town. To the houses where the man is the boss, he gave a horse. To the houses where the woman is the boss, a chicken was given. He got toward the end of the street and saw a couple outside gardening. "Who's the boss around here?" he asked. "I am." said the man. "I have a black horse and a brown horse," the farmer said, "which one would you like?" The man thought for a minute and said, "The black one." "No, no, no, get the brown one." the man's wife said. "Here's your chicken." said the farmer. |
| Join To View chicabich | katlove, No need to create a religion...I think slowly the planet is moving toward a universal understanding of acceptance and "live and let live" status. If only the major religions would get on board... I think man needs to come to terms with the fact that faith is not necessary to be a morally correct, good person. I do not need to be guilt tripped into being a good person, I do it because I feel that it is each person's duty to attempt to relieve others' sufferings. And yes, I agree, there will always be a struggle between good and bad. But there is a great Chinese proverb that addresses this: Good Luck Bad Luck! There is a Chinese story of a farmer who used an old horse to till his fields. One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer's neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?" A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, "Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?" Then, when the farmer's son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?" Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer's son with his broken leg, they let him off. Now was that good luck or bad luck? Who knows? Everything that seems on the surface to be an evil may be a good in disguise. And everything that seems good on the surface may really be an evil. So we are wise when we leave it to God to decide what is good fortune and what misfortune, and thank him that all things turn out for good with those who love him. |
farmmgirl2 | There was this farmer,Whom got pulled over by the state police trooper for speeding.The trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed,and in general began to throw his weight around to try and make the farmer uncomfortable.While the trooper was writing the ticket ,He started to swat at flies that were buzzing around his head.The old farmer asks,Having some problems with those there circle flies are ya?The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said well ya,If thats what you call them,I've never heard of cirle flies.The old farmer replys well circle are common on farms,Ya see there called circle flies cause they're almost always found circlin around the ass end of a horse.The trooper says 'oh' and goes on writing the ticket.After a min he stops and say's ,Hey wait a min are you trying to call me a horses ass?The old farmer says oh no officer I have the much respect for law inforcement to even think of calling you a horses ass.The trooper says well thats a good thing,and goes back to writing the ticket. After a long pause the old farmer says.....'Hard to fool them flies though' ...... :):):)HugKissFARM |
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happyhippie64 | A Hillbilly farmer who wanted to get a divorce paid a visit to a lawyer. The lawyer said, 'How can I help you?' The farmer said, 'I wants to get one of them dayvorces..' The lawyer said, 'Do you have any grounds?' The farmer said, 'Yup, I got 40 acres' The lawyer said, 'No, No, you don't understand, Do you have a suit? The farmer said, 'Yup, I got a suit, I wears it to church on Sundays.' The lawyer said, 'No, no, I mean, do you have a case?' The farmer said, 'Nope, I ain't got a Case, but I got a John Deere Tractor.' The lawyer said, 'No, I mean, do you have a grudge?' The farmer said,'Yup, I got a grudge, that's where I parks the John Deere' The lawyer said, 'Does your wife beat you up or something?' The farmer said, 'Nope, we both gets up at 4:30.' By now the lawyer is getting frustrated but tries one last question .. The lawyer said, 'Is your wife a nagger?' The farmer said, 'Nope, she's a little white gal, but our last child was a nagger and that's why I wants a dayvorce.' |
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