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The Importance of a good profile and good communication

by St. Nessa (Lionessa)
If you are reading this article then you had to fill out a profile. No one can get onto the site until one is done.

Profiles are not really sex ads, even though that is hopefully the intent for many They are the doorway to the soul. Profiles give us a chance look at the person behind it, to see what someone is really about.

Honesty in profiles is of the utmost importance. No on likes a fake. To be a member here a person must be 18 or older (if a member ever discovers someone is underage, it is very important to let the webmasters or a moderator know right away).

Two important questions on the profile are "They best describe themselves" and "Their ideal situation." Everyone on this site has either a cock or a pussy. Some may even have both depending on their sexual preference listed. (This being how they qualify themselves in this lifestyle) soooo.....be creative.

Don't describe yourself as young, hot, and horny. Horny is pretty much a "Duh" situation on any site like this.

Your description shows how you think and see yourself. Are you shy or very outgoing? Have you ever been in the service? Is there something special about you that you want to share? This is your chance to show others what kind of a person you really are. Be open, honest and share feelings, thoughts, beliefs, what others like about you etc...

Ideal situation is important, because it says what you would possibly like an ideal meet up to be like. Don't just say sex sex sex, or whatever the other person wants. Remember you are describing that ideal meeting If you enjoy dancing, loud music and the bar scene, then maybe meeting at a club, dancing, then going out somewhere quiet to get better acquainted would be an ideal date for you. If your a true romantic at heart, maybe meeting at your place greeting them with a single red rose, glass of wine and a candlit dinner would be a more ideal meet up for you. Even if you are here for phone sex only, you have an ideal..." I go to the phone and dial your number. A sweet sexy voice answers. Once I help you get over your shyness, and we chat a while, we help each other reach mutual satisfaction." You want someone to say "Wow" or "I would really enjoy that." Even though there are some here just to make friends, many are here for sex in some form so be innovative. Make me think your ideal situation is something I would love to have a part in.

When looking at member profiles, reading the whole profile is very important. Note their "Age, Preference." Then be sure to check out what they are "Looking for."

Just because someone has on their profile "Bi," this does not mean they are looking here for a male or female. For example, a married couple may be listed as both people being bi. Read the rest of their profile or you may be in for a shock when you get turned down. Many couples are looking for a female or male only...not both.

Many singles who are listed as bi also may not be looking for the opposite sex. In chat many times I have watched while some guy notices a females hot pic, then begins to drool over her saying how hot she is and how badly they want to meet up with her just knowing they are the best she will ever have...only to end up getting shot down. This would never have happened if that guy read her profile first and saw what she was looking for along with where she said in her general description that she is married, that her husband satisfies her totally so is only looking for a "female playmate."

If a member has listed "straight, gay, or lesbian" respect their choice. Don't tell them if they just hook up with you, you know you could change them.

One of my favorite pet peeves is when a member does not read "Will go as far as." On my profile for example I have listed Internet and . This DOES NOT mean I am interested in SEX and Cybering. This is a major vexation to many members. If this is listed, don't email that member to ask if they want to cyber, or get together over the phone. At best, you will end up ignored, or sent a nice email back saying thanks but no thanks. Then too, if you get a nasty email back, don't wonder why.

When you click on a members profile, you get a summary of what is inside. To read that members full profile just click on the "View Full Profile" icon located on the right hand side of the page in the middle under the "Send Mail" icon.

Take note of what a member lists under "They hoping to get together with." If you are someone who loves to trip the lights fantastic and parties into the wee hours of the night, you may not be a match for someone who says they prefer quiet evenings in a relaxed atmosphere.

If they have listed under "Not interested in getting together with" someone who is into piss play or pain, and you are into S/M, someone married, or older than them, appreciate their honesty and move on.

On the other hand...if you read a profile and you really find that person / couple interesting, and you do share many of their common interests, then by all means drop a note. Be polite, and courteous. Do not get pushy. Not everyone is hard and fast with their rules. Explain why you are writing them. For example...

You are into S/M and you see an interesting person looking for someone like you but they are not into that. Explain to them that yes you read their email and noticed they were not into S/M. Let them know that even though it is one of your interests, you noticed that you have many other things in common and share them.

Are you married but listed as a single? I again cannot stress how important it is to read profiles. Honesty up front in your profile is of the utmost importance. Many will have listed that they are looking for someone married, or discreet. Others my say no married males or females. Then again, there are others who do not state...Just keep in mind one has to read the whole profile, not just a small piece.

In every members profile at the top is their name and where they are from. Next to that is the calculated distance to you in miles.

If you are in chat or writing someone an email to someone you find interesting, be sure to note on the profile how far they are from you and whether or not they are willing to travel.

Remember its that profile may just be the spark it takes to get someone’s interest. Take your time, express your thoughts intelligently. Be creative, use some humor, and don't forget the spell check.

For heaven sake speak English. This is not the place to practice Ebonics. Here are a few sentences from my profile...Age really doesn't matter. Maturity and honesty does. I am definitely not a Barbie type, and don't expect you to be. Looks are secondary.

Here is that sentence in Ebonics: Age really don' matter. Maturity an' honesty do. I be definitely not uh Barbie type, an' don' expect ya ta be. Looks iz secondary. an don't make me pull mah gat!

Again I repeat, do not forget spell check.

Do not, do not do not....come across as a horny toad or dudette...ever.

Always think before acting or writing. How will this sound to someone else reading or seeing it? You do not have to write a book, but something more than one or two words would be best to show intelligence.

Answer all the questions on the profile. Fill in all the questions. Don't use n/a as an answer. Do not say "just ask" or "will answer later"...You are being asked now. Say none or not into that. When profiles get reviewed if all the questions are answered they receive a "Super Profile" ribbon. This lets members know that this member has answered all the questions on their profile. Be truthful with your answers.

Hope this helps, and remember your actually painting a picture of yourself with your answers...so if you really are interested in meeting someone, look at yourself from the inside out and share a part of you with us.

Happy Hunting
Lionessa

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