It's apparent we live in unsettling times. I don't know if it's from economic distress, social isolation, or what the cause is. I just know in this day and age, it's no wonder so many people are on anti-depressants and mood stabilizers as I have been.
It's been said that Anger is Fear's ugly cousin. I think back to watching Star Wars as a kid, and the moral meat that it had. With all the crap that's on TV, I'm very grateful George Lucas came along. Simple things like fear leading to hate and hate dominating you. He uses more dramatic language, but I believe that's the basic gist of it. I've seen it in others as well. I don't know why negative emotions are so much more powerful, at least to me, than positive emotions.
For me, anger turns inward into depression. I'm introverted in nature, so I tend to clam up and blame myself for everything, even though on the outside I appear to everyone as mild tempered, calm, and level headed. These overwhelming emotions result when people don't do what I expect them to do. I would think if people were just not so ignorant, or intolerant - if only they showed more love for each other than hate, it would be a better world. Whether it's true or not is not the point. It boils down to what I can control and what I can do to make the world a better place. What good does sitting here judging everyone do?
I've found that talking is the most effective coping mechanism for any type of depression, self loathing, fear, anger, all of it. Resentment is like a cancer. It starts small, but if you're an obsessive person, it just can't be let go into thin air like a rancid fart. I guess therapists can help. They've been limited help for myself. I look back to what's helped me, and it's been relationships and connections with other people. The feeling of being a part of something is the most calming and secure feeling, and has helped to calm the waters. I believe that no matter who we are, the color of our skin, our religion, or any other demographic, we all just want to belong somewhere. Prior to discovering this, I had no peace.
It all boils down to a simple choice really. What can I do today for someone else? Am I going to think about myself all day and what I want, or can I help someone else? Maybe I could help my neighbor carry her groceries, check in on my friend who's going through a rough break up, or buy my roommate lunch because he's out of work due to the pandemic. I believe we are at our best as a country if we rise together, and what I'm seeing on the news breaks my heart. When will it ever end?
I think now more than ever we need to learn about each other. Snap judgements are the cause of this. How can we really judge anyone without knowing them? It's human nature unfortunately, and I do it all the time. Maybe in the future I could learn to change this.